'Hello World. My name is Christian.'

nothing says “i literally had no idea what to get you for christmas” like the gift of an autographed copy of hipster puppies. i have a handful of these left in my apartment and am ready to give them to a loving home! 

to get your copy:
paypal $14 to hipsterpupbook@gmail.com

to get yours with a copy of my 33 1/3 book on public enemy:
paypal $24 to hipsterpupbook@gmail.com

notes: continental united states only. also, i’m mailing these out via media mail on MONDAY MORNING, DECEMBER 19, which means, yes, there is a slim chance they may not arrive by xmas. if you want me to send it priority mail, kick in an extra $3. happy holidays + i love y’all

check out these amazing photos from the HIPSTER PUPPIES PAGEANT courtesy of jacob from time out new york.

thanks to lena @ powerhouse, oscar the winning pooch, and all the pups and pup-owners who made this night more special than we could have ever imagined.

tonight, thursday 8/25, @ powerhouse books in brooklyn: 

THE HIPSTER PUPPIES DOG PAGEANT! 

bring a pup to compete! just come to gawk! free pbr! limited edition cassettes! the chance to tell your friends you’re “into books”! did i mention free beer?! rsvp here!

first prize is a $75 gift certificate to ps9 pet supplies, second prize is a $25 gift certificate to sound fix records

look at all the sick press it got:
• time out new york ran our funniest interview yet, and a photo gallery where i yell at yelpers for some reason. 
• the village voice made it a voice choice
• metro new york has the brilliant “smug pug parade” headline and a brief interview with a hideous man.
• brooklyn paper has me saying in all sincerity, “i don’t want to compromise the integrity of the pageant”  
• harpers has a fascinating article about xenophobia and violence in america

if you can’t make it out to powerhouse, i’ll be spinning records at sound fix in brooklyn on saturday. bring a dog, get a $1 off a book! more info here

[photo of rogue via ashley j]

HIPSTER PUPPIES: NEW YORK // the cassette // ed. 350

side a
shooting spires – right
hunters – deadbeat
pregnant – help!
nt – transparency
das racist ft. despot – rooftop
aa – glow wreath
pterodactyl – school glue
dinowalrus – phone home from the edge
yvette – with fangs
ava luna – clips
child abuse – cut and run

side b
nonhorse – i love you bubbles
dan friel – desert song
mountains – thousand square
burning star core – mezzo forte
hubble – hubble other
weingarten/bieber duo – chernobyl igloo [excerpt]
liturgy – high gold
zs – acres of skin
beauclerk – bisonoric

WHAT IS THIS? the hipster puppies cassette is a present for the pups and peeps whose photos ended up in the hipster puppies book. it also works as a love letter to my city, as it features a meticulously curated selection of 20 of my favorite new york bands. after the contributors and artists get copies, i should have about 175 copies left over. 

HOW MUCH ARE THEY? the tapes are not for sale, and are strictly value-adds when you buy a copy of the hipster puppies book at select outlets

WELL, WHERE CAN I GET ONE? i will have ample copies at the hipster puppies pageant at powerhouse books on august 25 and the sound fix records in-store on august 27. please bring your dog to both events! 

if you can’t make it out to those, you can currently score copies with your hipster puppies purchase at at sound fix in brooklyn and cake shop in manhattan.

WHY CASSETTES? because i’m exasperating brooklyn hipster slime and everything has to be extra difficult for us or it’s not worth anything, duh.

for a “social anthropology experiment,” marcus will be attending the gathering of the puggalos

[via samantha r]

hahaha, check out the front page of thesaurus.com today! what’s a good synonym for “plagiarism”?

i just felt like pointing out that rose mcgowan’s dog kind of looks like he’s a smug fucking asshole

your shitty cosmopolitan ruined mad men night

[via brad f]

JULY PUPDATE

• Hipster Puppies: The Book is out now in a store near you. Why don’t you buy one for someone you love or tolerate

• We made the New York Magazine Approval Matrix, which calls us “brilliant” and “lowbrow.” My publishers are enthusiastic about how low we rank on the lowbrow scale considering the number of blowjob jokes that made the cut. Hi, mom!

• Vol. 1 has an in-depth Q&A with the creator of Hipster Puppies, which is a true honor considering they usually cover books with more than 150 sentences in them.

• I did not come up with the Google+ pupster, but he’s awesome.

• Info on the Brooklyn release party and the limited edition Hipster Puppies cassette is forthcoming. Needless to say, if you like in New York, prepare to be very psyched.

[photo of scout via emilia b]

**IT’S HERE!**

Today is the official release day of Hipster Puppies, the book. The timeless meme has successfully turned itself into a novel for the ages, already the inaugural recipient of the Pulitzer Prize for Snarky Animal-Based Captions, Toilet-Tank Division. Be sure to order a copy for yourself and everyone you know… we’re turning the New York Review Of Books into our own personal wee-wee pad!

Today, before you treat your bookshelf to some Jennifer Egan or Malcolm Gladwell or whatever, ask yourself, “Does this book have pictures of dogs in sunglasses in it?” If not, the book probably sucks and is probably hard to read.

Here are some places to buy it immediately: Amazon • Indiebound • Barnes & Noble • Books-A-Million • Borders

Also, it’s probably in your local bookstore. If it’s not, you should do the right thing and move immediately.

Seriously, though, Hipster Puppies is 85% new material, and I saved all the cutest dogs and all my best jokes for the occasion. You can even meet a few of our new puppy pals (and their owners) in this week’s New York Post.

Please reblog and link the fuck out of this because my landlord is no longer taking “Oh, I have popular internet meme” in exchange for rent money.

So yeah, if you treat yourself to one glossy picture book for adults in 2011… well, you’re probably going to buy that stupid swearing-at-my-kids thing.

~Christopher

graphic design is hard work

[via kristine b]

take a seat and let meatball tell you about the work of slavoj žižek

[via cara p]

coco fakes wheat gluten allergies because she heard they were “in” 

[via robin f]

mango muttered something about auto emissions and then flicked a second cigarette butt into the woods

[via sunshine]

charlie has a big night planned of listening to 78s, drinking absinthe and alienating another okcupid date

[via christina o. and yadira d.]

drug enthusiast katie will be shocked to learn that there’s bands at bonnaroo too

[via anna l]

[ps - the hipster puppies book is out in one month! pre-order yours now, ffs!]

as best anyone could recall, “four loko and ice cream night” ended promptly at 9 p.m.

[via mark e]

samson’s new fauxhawk made him easily the most fashionable at the 1 p.m. chipotle lunch rush

[via StoryOfSamson]

igby is way to old to be saying things are “swag”

[via kathryn s]